I was spiraling out of control.
I was in desperate need of help and had been for many years.
I ran far from God, far, so far.
I filled my soul with every empty promise I could get my selfish little hands on.
I looked for any quick and easy way to hide the pain, sadness, and emptiness I felt.
But then God reintroduced Himself through two family members from different sides of my family each at different times – they brought up God. I only notice His hand in all this now as I look back. They specifically asked about my belief in Him and His power – His provision and healing was something I should have known and had faith in but I did not. In fact, I was burdened by the weight of the conversations and pressure to conform to what they thought was best for me. But, the topic stuck with me, He stayed with me quietly – just beneath the surface – and when I was alone, I found myself questioning my beliefs and wrestling with Him. I found myself lingering over Christian sermons on television while I flipped through the channels. Sometimes, I would just catch the end and pray the salvation prayer aloud with them. Then, one day I stumbled upon a Joyce Meyer Ministries Enjoying Everyday Life broadcast that pointed out the root of my issues – I was disconnected from God – she was talking directly to me but this time I HEARD HIM, not a family member, not Joyce but Him. I immediately prayed the salvation prayer again but this time I FELT HIM, I cried out “I am here Lord, I am here, and I hear you. Thank you Lord!” Thanks to Joyce’s teaching, I knew I had to work with God to help me. His Holy Spirit would guide me and show me my ways that were against His Word. Then I needed to make corrections that put me into agreement with Him and His Word, and that through prayer and belief in Him, I would continue to change for the better.
Fast-forward – a little less than year later.
I digest God’s Word, meditate on it, and make it part of me.
I am fully surrendered to Christ – I am all in and sold out to my Savior.
When God points an issue out, the Holy Spirit convicts me and I move into action – whatever ‘it’ is must go.
I reclaim pieces of my life from the enemy of lies and renew myself in Christ daily.
I take active steps to encourage others to the Cross.
I have changed SO MUCH for the better but I am a work in progress.
God snuck up on me again, this time through two friends on social media, both on different sides of the coin, with completely different agendas, one needed help, and the other offered help. These heart-warming encounters, prompted me to write A Letter To My Old Self and I must tell you I have never felt more SAVED than I did as I wrote that letter to my 12 year-old self. Oh, the wonderful work He has done in me – the Glory belongs to Him alone. Remembering the deep expanse of my pain, anger, and sadness showed me how much God has redeemed for me Psalm 55:22 Romans 8:28 2 Timothy 4:18 Luke 10:19 it shows me He is with me, 1 Corinthians 3:16 Deuteronomy 31:6-8 and that with Him I can get through anything 2 Corinthians 12:9 Philippians 4:13 Isaiah 54:17 because His power is made perfect in my weakness. Amen, I receive it!
Music that speaks –
“…In one moment everything changed
Who I was got washed away
When mercy found me
My Savior’s arms were open wide
And I felt love for the very first time
When mercy found me…”
How sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me
I once was lost, but now I’m found
Was blind, but now I see…”
God, I thank you for guiding me; Your Word is a lamp to my feet, and a light on my path. Fill my heart and renew my mind with your love, compassion, and mercy. Continue to show me the things in my life that separate me from You, Lord. I want to walk in all Your ways, create in me a clean and pure heart. Make Your ways, my ways. I completely surrender myself unto Your Will, I am Yours to shape and mold have Your way in me. I am Yours, in Jesus Name I pray.
God Bless You!
Jennifer – I Give God All The Glory